I DON'T PLAY FAVORITES

When I was pregnant with Mackadoodle (my 2nd child) I was worried that I wouldn't love her as much as I loved my son. I am an only child who was primarily raised by my mom so I had never know the "same" kind of love for two different people. I imagined most people who come from a two parent home love their parents equally, but as I only spent a tiny fraction of time with my dad as time with my mom I had a different relationship with each of them. I also didn't have any biological siblings so I didn't know the same kind of love that way either. Anyway, back to the story...I was worried that my despite what every parent of 2 or more children told me, that my love would actually divide and not multiply. Or worse yet that it WOULDN'T divide and my daughter would be doomed to live a loveless life as the "red-headed step-child".

Obviously, once she arrived my fears were totally and completely squashed as I immediately loved and adored that tiny little one. AND I somehow, simultaneously loved and adored my 18 month old too! Who'd of thought? Fast forward 2.5 years later. I have multiplied my love yet again and our 6 month old is the easiest, sweetest little thing that ever graced this earth. She is so peaceful and calm and not needy or demanding at all. DH jokes that she is the favorite and it got me thinking about whether we REALLY have a favorite or not.

When the 4 year old won't stop talking back to me and the 2 year old won't stop screaming, the 6 month old IS the favorite.

When the 2 year old won't stop screaming and the 6 month old won't go to sleep, the 4 year old is the favorite.

When the 4 year old won't take anything I say seriously and the 6 month old has her 3rd blowout of the day, the 2 year old is usually still screaming.

If one of them is sleeping that trumps everything else. Whoever is sleeping is the favorite.

Or whoever is not 2.

In all seriousness, I don't play favorites. I love all 3 of my kids, very, very much. But I DON'T love them the same. I love them differently. Because THEY are different. I love each of them with the same intensity and quality but not actually in the same way or for the same things. I have a different relationship with each of my children and they each bring something unique and incredible into my life. And each of them expresses and experiences love in a different (if ever so slightly) way. So I think it would be a disservice to them to love them "the same".

If you haven't heard of the 5 Languages of Love, let me summarize. Basically each person has one of 5 ways that is their primary way of experiencing and expressing love. This is typically used to help couples figure out how to most effectively express love to your spouse based on how THEY experience love most. You can take the quizzes on their site to find out what your love languages are. Anyway, children also have their own love languages and if you know your kiddo, you know what says "I love you" to them. If I do a puzzle or play any type of game with a ball with my son, I almost always get the jumping-up-and-down excitement followed by a big squeeze and an "I love you". For my middle child reading books, watching her dance, singing songs and eating her pretend food makes her totally giddy. For my baby, well she just needs a boob and some peek-a-boo and she's good. The point is, each of them needs something different to feel loved so there is no way I could love them the same. And I really and truly don't favor one over the other. They are all amazing blessings in my life. Besides, who could choose between giggles, hand-holding and eskimo kisses?

What is your experience with loving your kids "the same"? Do you have a favorite?

Right now my favorite is sleep. Who am I kidding, sleep is always my favorite.

Peace and Love from this side of the Mamahood